it hurts so good…

my head is swimming.  I started this new job one week ago today and have been in “it.”

It has been a great week and much has been accomplished, though much more is coming down the pipe… this is one of those jobs that I always dreamed about, where everyone is motivated, competitive, and excellent at what they do!  Time seems to be my enemy as I am trying to guzzle down every drop shot from a water canon, without getting my shirt wet (impossible)!

So with that in mind, I am trying to fight off a few things that always creep in my subconcious in times like these… namely feelings of inadequecy and doubt.

1) I am inadequate to perform the task(s) assigned, and

2) I doubt that God really led me to this job.

Inadequacy and doubt are nuetralizers, they disable so many people in the pursuit of their dreams, hopes and desires… Especially when you begin to work on Kingdom issues and in joining the work of God in this world!  Although they are huge obstacles to overcome, they never should curtail the pursuit of God’s best in your life.  Here is why:

Feelings of inadequacy remind us that we are not in complete control of our life… Even though I may be qualified for my job, there are still areas in which fate, circumstance, and other people have an influence over the outcomes of my day.  Though qualified I am ultimately inadequate to respond successfully in every situation… Which reminds me that a life of complete dependency on Christ is paramount to overcoming the obstacles in each day.

Seeds of doubt can sprout and lead to dissatisfaction and unfair comparisons.  When we become dissatisfied with our particular role, we may begin to compare, measure and evaluate others in a opportunistic light… Seeking ways in which to tear down others in order to feel good about our own self image.  This must be rooted out of our thinking!  Doubt must lead to knowledge.  What I mean is that instead of wallowing in our doubt, we must begin to step out of the pool of despair, into the realm of certainty.  Small steps at first, until we get our footing, and then we can leap and bound towards the assurance that comes in Christ.  That he has made each and every one of us for a purpose… enabled us with gifts, strengths, and abilities… not to conquer those around us, but to lead those around us to build the Kingdom of God here and now!

So I will be dependent on Christ through my inadequacy, never allowing doubt to establish any roots in my heart, instead I will stand on the certainty that comes through the gifts and talents God has given me.