So, being that I just got engaged, I have a backlog of thoughts on love, relationships, and pursuit (of God)… So the next couple weeks, I’m gonna peruse these thoughts and see if they hit a chord in the hearts of others… __________________________
Why do we love each other… is it because we want love in return? One theory behind the reason we love is that when we make an important decision, we revert to the foundational question, WIIFM?
What’s In It For Me?
We filter important decisions through a selfish lens so that no one is truly altruistic. Always looking out for “numero uno” we make decision that further our needs, wants and desires. While I understand the basic premise of this theory in regards to self preservation, I cannot believe this theory plays into my choice to love.
When I ask WIIFM? in regards to my relationship with Candace, the answers are incredibly self-centered…
- Partner –> two minds are better than one
- D.I.N.K. –> Dual Income No Kids
- Intimacy –> yada, yada, yada…
- Company –> no more lonely nights
- Tax Break –> right?
- Affirmation –> someone who loves me back
These things are good things, but they are self-serving. I can’t love with the hope that these things will be added unto me!! Love can never be used as a bargaining chip. What I mean is… Our motivation to love must come from an altruistic intent, a truly unselfish heart. A heart that is ready to sacrifice our wants and desires without expectation of reciprocation.
The same can be said about my relationship with God. WIIFM? – produces an expectation that we are to receive some reward for our abdication. Let me say it this way:
Some men love their wives (by serving them – dishes, laundry, taking out the trash, et cetera) in the hope that they will be rewarded with sexual pleasure. In the same way, we love God (by serving our enemies and neighbors) expecting an eternal reward of Heavenly bliss. Proper love does not expect a return, it serves, sacrifices, honors, respects, encourages, and affirms because of what’s in it for the other person… We serve our spouse because they deserve our adoration.
We serve God because He deserves our love.
