I have recently been made aware of the slang term, “muffin top” which does not imply this… but rather it implies this.

And so I am going to work-out at the “Y” because when I looked in the mirror, it seems I have developed one heck of a muffin top.

Some ghosts are transparent, others are opaque, and others leave a endoplasmic trail wherever they go…

I am no ghost, but I share in some of the ghostly characteristics mentioned above. My life (more often then not) is a transparent one, not transparent in the sense that no one can see me, but rather transparent in the fact that I have nothing to hide… if someone wants to know what I’m thinking all they have to do is ask and I will have no problem vomiting out my insides onto their lap. This type of living has its drawbacks (not to mention a lion share of dry cleaning bills), but in comparison to being the opposite I gladly embrace the complications that arise in being a transparent soul.

façade - figurative - a outside appearance that is maintained to conceal a less pleasant or credible reality.

The opposite of transparency, in this context, would be a façade.  This type of living is completely foreign to me. My demeanor is such that you know when I am happy, sad, mad or glad.  You do not have to guess the mood I am in (once you understand how each of these is displayed in my facial expressions, tone of voice and or body language)… There are times I must put on a face, and in these times I am incredibly uncomfortable beneath my skin. In these moments of my true self, like and alien beneath my skin, wiggles and squirms, prodding the sheath of protection for a crack or an orifice to escape from to reveal my true nautre (that is a funny/disturbing visual).

Keeping in line with my limpidity, here are three areas/circumstances that arise from my being transparent that are frustrating:

1. I cannot hide my true feelings which hurts me when dealing with: love, annoying people, and poker.
2. Many people know me intimately (in an asexual sense), therefore many people expect that level of intimacy almost every time we talk which is incredibly exhausting.
3. People interpret my transparency as confidence/arrogance… which is a wrong interpretation.

While the first two frustrations are managable the third is the one which causes the most tension in my life…  When others interpret something like transparency as confidence or better defined arrogance, it leads them to interact in a way that is destructive rather than encouraging.  This is more of a thought, than a psychological diagnosis, I am probably above my pay grade on this…  But as an observer of people I feel some truth to this prognosis, specifically that people respond to transparency in people adversely.  I really don’t have any solution or way in which to reconcile this cause/effect cycle… God has made each one of us unique and beautiful, quirky and wonderful.  And this is a fact of life that I cherish.

That Katie Couric… She’s a bulldog:

A couple nights ago I picked up one of my favorite fictional books, Solaris, by Stanislaw Lem… It is a book that I enjoy for three reasons:

1. it is relatively short (204 pages),
2. Law’s vivid description of “Solaris” - an ocean planet with cerebral tendencies, and
3. the love story (yep, I’m a romantic).

It is a book that can be read in one sitting though I stretched it into a two-night affair, and if you can get past Lem’s meandering in the sometimes overly complex description of the planet’s features and behavior, you’ll find a gem of a story about two lover’s who are reunited after a tragic separation 10 years previous (to let you in on the circumstances surrounding would be too much of a give-away).

Note: it is not a typical progression of lost then found love, as it is more of a tragedy (think: R&J).

I think the reason I like it so much is that it reminds me of lost love and the dichotomy of emotion when a chance encounter brings that loved one back into one’s life.  In most cases the spark of love that flashes in that moment has the same elements that lit the flame to begin with, but there is a lack.  Something is lost that can never be restored… though love may be found again it usually does not burn with the same intensity.  I cannot say that this is a “given” for all who get a second chance at love, but in generalities I believe this holds true.  There is always a hint of the past that chides us to believe that the second chance is doomed for failure.  And the past, though forgiven, cannot be erased.

Moving away from the love plotline, one of my favorite quotes from this book has to do with man’s pursuit of knowledge:

Man has gone out to explore other worlds and other civilizations without having explored his own labyrinth of dark passages and secret chambers, and without finding what lies behind doorways that he himself has sealed.

If Stanislaw was writing a thesis statement, this would be it, as it encapsulates the books philosophical roots: mankind’s pursuit of absolute power and complete understanding.  We seek external and completely ignore the internal… we ask, “Why are we here?” instead of asking “Why are we?”  It is a book that compels the reader to investigate the reason for being, for living and loving.

Great article on the day after… in the WSJ: The Depression of 2008? Don’t Count on It

After today’s vote in the House, there was an immediate reaction on Wall Street, the Dow Jones industrial down nearly 7 percent, about a 780-point decline which was the largest one-day point drop ever for the index.

Wow… oh, how we are a tumbleweed in the wind, blown to and fro as the winds of change flow down through the valley below.

To be honest, I was completely surprised to see the Republicans so starkly oppose the bail-out plan presented by their commander-in-chief’s administration. I am wondering… are they against the bail-out plan altogether or are they being stalwarts, trying to get back to the original bail-out plan proposed by Mr. Paulson. The copy I am reading suggests that reasons lean toward a refusal to vote for a mud-sandwich of a proposal, as many that supported the bill did so with disdain.

Personally, I am hoping that the market will be left to balance itself… that the new administration would enact regulations that ensure something like this does not happen again. And I am hoping that America, with it’s lavish lifestyle based on consumerism and spending will see the evils of corporate greed and individual (un)accountability. Either way, this is going to hurt the ol’ pocketbook, as some have already lost a big portion of their retirement investments.

Remember: Getting back to equilibrium entails a “righting of the ship” in which excess is thrown overboard and the necessities are rearranged to ensure proper balance and safety in the turmoil.

funny note: McCain takes credit for bill before it loses… ha!

These thoughts are scattered and not yet laid out in an organized post:

As I understand it, this bailout relies on outside investors (read: foreign investors) to buy up Treasury Securities, in order to fund our spending. Basically a huge fire sale on T-bonds to anyone who want to invest (anyone being mostly foreign countries, specifically Japan and China who own about 41% of our Treausury Securities).

We are betting/hoping/wishing that foriegn countries will (indirectly) back this plan by scooping up these securities. And if they don’t?

If foreign countries don’t invest in Treasury Securities, the FED will be forced print cash money… which is the worst thing that could happen, as it would deflate the dollar, and cause the inflation of foriegn currency. Basically, our dollar would be worth way less and the Euro and the Yen would be worth way more.

Sorry, but I’m more willing to bet on the market than on government bailout. In my opinion, US would bounce back in less time (I think it would be a rough 1-5 years) but the other option is a rough 10-20 years of struggling, sputtering economy and foreign ownership. Yikes.

Wiki has a good explanation on Foreign Ownership: Here.

One of the best practical jokes I’ve seen in a while, and it was played on me…

I got to work today and found this:

and so I had to get this:

and that is how the day started for me.

It’s extraordinary to me that the United States can find $700 billion to save Wall Street and the entire G8 can’t find $25 billion dollars to saved 25,000 children who die every day from preventable diseases.

- Bono, rock star and anti-poverty activist. (Source: The American Prospect blog)