nirvana. a dedication…

No doubt, you’ve seen this album cover… it is a classic cover that has been parodied by the likes of Weird Al Yankovic, and many others…

including me…

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God likes barley and hops…

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Preface: Okay, okay… I cannot presume to know what God likes, dislikes or is indifferent to, but I’d like to think He enjoyed a nut brown ale on the 7th day when He rested.

Something happens when guys get together, especially when they have to risk their life to get there… Nothing like the possibility of death to bring an group of dudes even closer. You’d assume that I’m talking about some crazy adventure I was apart of, maybe climbing Mount Everest or rafting the Upper Animas in Class V rapids.

But, actually I’m talking about my bachelor party, which was held at Peace Tree Brewery in Knoxville, Iowa. Amidst a brutal 6-8 inches snowfall, which made the roads treacherous and and the travel slow moving. Regardless, guys streamed in from all over the country – Arkansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Washington D.C., Iowa, Colorado, and California. Careening their cars on slippery roads using the guardrails as bumpers, to share an evening and a brew with their mates.

Now, it’s not what you think. In fact, I could cite our bartender for the civility of the night – she said:

Wow, what a compliment! This speaks to the quality of men in attendance that night, who enjoyed their barley and hops, with modesty and temperance in line with G.K. Chesterton’s thoughts on the subject, who once said that “the proper form of thanks to it [the Creator] is some form of humility and restraint: we should thank God for beer and Burgundy by not drinking too much of them.”¹

What a juxtaposition!? That God could be in a night that centered around celebrating the end of my bachelorhood by drinking beer and sharing stories!! Why is it that this is such a taboo statement?

I guess it’s because, it’s so surprising to see a bachelor party that was so tame and dignified? As we’re accustomed to seeing drunken beerfests and nights of debauchery that we would soon forget as our models for bachelor parties and guy’s night out. Rarely, I suppose, is this juxtaposed by a night of temperance and restraint, enjoyment and encouragement. I, for one, am glad that we could spend an evening together, slapping each other on the back whilst sipping on some fine bitter.

To me it was a picture of heaven – a glimpse of the marriage supper of the lamb – where Jesus will pop a top of some vintage vino, and we will all share in the celebration of the consummation of our relationship as the bride of Christ, by consuming the fruit of the vine, and enjoying the company of our friends and family.

Thanks guys for such a memorable night! And below are some pics from Don Hogan, enjoy!

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1. G.K. Chesterton; “Orthodoxy”; p. 91-92

tsunami honeymoon…

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photo: beachfront along Honoapiilani Highway two hours before the tsunami.

As many of you may have seen on the news, a tsunami hit the Hawaiian islands this past weekend, and as many of you know, I was in Maui with my lovely wife on our honeymoon.

I don’t exactly know what the news in the states was broadcasting, though they must have said something to the effect that the “Hawaiian Islands are going to be wiped out by a massive tsunami,” because we received very worried phone calls from the parental’s at 3 o’clock in the morning! To be fair, the news stations in Hawaii, were also very adamant that the tsunami was the real deal and a 6-12 foot surge was to be expected… as their buoys in deep water were reporting major oceanic activity. Not to mention that an island chain southeast of Hawaii, experienced a 6 foot surge.

In light of all this, our last day in Maui was spent running around in disaster mode, we went to Safeway to stock up on water bottles and snacks, we filled the car up with gas, checked on evacuation zones (we were the only condo south of the highway that wasn’t evacuated) and sent a package back to the states with our final wills and testaments. Just kidding. We did send a package, not filled with our wills rather it was filled with island goodies for the Teen Challenge gals (my wife’s the Director of Pella Teen Challenge Women’s Home).

After stocking up on supplies we tried to get some Starbucks, but it was closed… go figure. I did not expect this, as with any impending doom, it seems the two most logical actions are to get Starbucks and have sex, in no particular order, and to not be able to partake in a double tall soy latte as the world was coming to an end – was quite disappointing.

To be honest the rest of the day was quite uneventful, we watched coverage of the tsunami hitting the Big Island on TV, at which point we knew it wasn’t going to be as bad as predicted. So. We decided to join the small crowd congregating poolside and preceded to read books and drink corona’s until the all clear sounded at 2:00pm.

It seems the only eventful thing to happen in Tsunami 2010 was a high tide, low tide fluctuation. The difference being that it happened four times a matter of a an hour, which took some sand from the beach but didn’t really affect any structures. All in all, I would say it was a great experience, the emergency crews and the disaster warning systems performed admirably, as everyone seemed to stay clear of the water, and even with a major highway closed for 5 hours (Honoapiilani Highway connecting Kaanapali to Lahaina to Kahului Airport) people were content to relax and wait it out. No hype, no confusion, no mass hysteria… the line to get gas was the most aggressive part of the day and only yielded a couple horn honks and some flustered vacationers.

Mahalo Tsunami 2010 – you made our honeymoon more memorable then it already was!

wine. an analogy…

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photo by @led

an analogy….

I like wine. The tall slender bottle is pleasing to the eye and the level of purity of the grape makes it either instant vintage or “2 buck chuck.”

As many of you know I have been a connoisseur of wine since I turned 21… Let’s be honest, wine before 21 was really just grape juice. As it did not have the ability to intoxicate and was mainly something sweet to quench my palate.

Fast forward from 21 yrs old to now. At 30 yrs old – my palate has matured – I am able to acutely identify a merlot, pino, sauvignon, shiraz, and other blends with a quick study of the clarity, aroma, and taste (taste being the last of the three.. ahem Adam). With this ability comes the temptation towards the newer flashier wines, as opposed to wines that have consistent elegance and stature. As you well know, desire leads to temptation which leads to lust and ends in sin. And this sin was too enticing to pass up. Confession: Over the past 8 years I have never picked up a wine that was older than 23 years, that is until recently… The wrappers of these younger vintages were always too flashy, the content and flavor was varied and unpredictable, to be honest my wonderlusting eyes got caught up in the excitement of it all. This brings us to a turning point in this conversation. A wine connoisseur is the epitome of patience, he knows when a wine will be best opened, and does not succumb to the temptation that begets most men, that is to open the bottle before it is mature.

At the age of 21, I was not yet a seasoned connoisseur and I picked up a bottle of wine that was to complex for my palate, it was disaster. My ignorance and immaturity almost caused a perfect vintage to be out of my grasp forever… Luckily I was cautious, I only inspected the clarity and purity of the wine and did not open the bottle to inspect it’s aroma and taste. With a preternatural wisdom, I put the tall slender bottle back on the rack and tried to forget about it, distracting myself with the vast array of wines that require less investment, a rut I would find myself in for the next 6 years. As my palate matured, my pick of wine did not, it remained constant, stuck on wines that were less than 23 years of maturity.

About a 3 years ago I picked up the bottle of wine that was too elegant for me at the tender age of 21, and gently perused this specific bottles clarity and purity, of which it was determined the wine was not yet mature though vastly better than the vino’s I had been choosing as of late.

After 16 months of patiently waiting, and a couple bottles of cheaper wine to hold me over, I finally found the clarity of this vintage to be perfect. And so with much excitement and anticipation I opened said bottle, and what I found was not a bitter repulsive odor, rather I was greeted with a pleasant and slightly sweet aroma that welcomed my patient pursuit.

And so we now sit, the tall slender bottle of wine has shown clarity/purity, a delicate sweet aroma, and has potential to have incredible depth and complexity and a richness in flavor that is beyond compare. This past week I finally was able to taste this delicate libation (sometimes letting the wine breathe a little since being bottled for so long, enhances the flavor). And you can be sure I did not guzzle it down without thought… rather I savored this wine with a large steak and all the fixin’s.

And it did not disappoint.

The End.

a quick treatise on self-control…

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CC photo by boskizzi.

Now. A quick treatise on self-control.

Self-control is showing humility and restraint, but the ironic thing about self-control is that the self must control it. The failure comes when we no longer accept this responsibility – when we rely on the self-control of the masses – rather than our own. Yes, culture accepts and promotes sexual promiscuity, drunkenness, over-consumption, and and a whole lot of other things that are not beneficial… But we mustn’t be tricked, our call is to be a light on a hill, a beacon of hope in the darkness of night, a life that acts as salt – preserving and bringing out the flavor (the unique gifting) of those around us. Not like the hermit in the desert, who avoids all things, or like the marionette doll controlled by someone else’s convictions. We must control the strings, living a life that sheds light on the reward of temperance and the honor found in humility.

Because in controlling the temptations of today, we rest in the reward of tomorrow.

please do not disturb…

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A BIG thanks to everyone who joined us in Pella to help us celebrate our wedding day!  We hope you had a memorable time, and wish you all safe travels home.

- Sam & Candace DuRegger

becoming one…

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© photo by Carl Zoch Photography you can follow him on twitter: @carlzoch

What words can I type that will convey the murrumblings in my heart about this unbelievable step towards a future of oneness. I can’t even begin to express them. But I’ll try…

In marriage, I will have found a mate, lover and friend, but more than those fine things I will have found a co-conspirator. One who joins me in a grand adventure into the unknown of life not yet lived. Our lives begin to tangle tonite, and if this merging is to be lasting, we need something that is stronger than super glue to help us become one.

Enter Christ. Who sacrificed so much so that we might live, He is the bonding agent in our journey toward oneness. And as Candace and I unite in matrimony, Jesus will be there – gently and sometimes forcibly – pushing, molding, bonding us to become one. I don’t know if without Christ we could sustain the commitment that is marriage (sure many have done it, and many will continue to…). Maybe what I mean is we would not be able to merge so easily and productively if it were not for the sacrifice that was modeled for us on the cross, one void of selfish ambition, full of loving devotion, and completed with a statement of mercy and grace.

Becoming one, is not always going to be easy, but I must believe that the struggle is necessary to become the picture of Holiness, God has always intended marriage to be. For oneness is about holiness, and holiness has always been about grace extended, and grace extended will have to be my mantra… so that bitterness will not take root, and love will abound in our home and in our interactions.

If your married, what has oneness meant to you?

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Friday’s post –> death of me, life of we…

Thursday’s post –> love is fruity…

Wednesday’s post –> i wear the mustache, she wears the pants…

Tuesday’s post –> purity even when it’s hard…

Monday’s post –> communicating through confusion…

Sunday’s post –> she can’t be your hobby…

Saturday’s post –> seven days…

death of me, life of we…

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© photo by Carl Zoch Photography you can follow him on twitter: @carlzoch

This feeling is odd.

To think, it all comes screeching to a start tomorrow. My life, as I know it, has been changing since I asked this gal to marry me six months ago – transitioning out of a stage of independence and self-centered habits into a life of interdependence and forced altruism. I say forced, because I didn’t foresee the ramifications on my lovely contented life of selfishness, like I feel them now. Hindsight is such a bitch. The selfish guy got fooled by love and is now fighting tooth and nail to get out from under the reality of it.

I don’t say those things out of regret or cold footedness… rather I say it because the battle within me is real, and luckily it is a war that love is winning (thank the Lord!!). It’s strange to feel the two factions within me, one wanting to hold onto the independence that came with bachelorhood and the other grasping for the higher road of sacrifice and discipline, the path of togetherness. I wonder if this civil war is just the beginning of the dichotomy that marriage will foster in my psyche… As our flesh always cries out for it’s way and the God part of us – the part that is good, wise and humble – continues to patiently snuff out the selfish whimper, replacing the desires of my flesh with something more satisfying and nourishing. That is, seeking the death of me, so that the life of we may blossom.

I get it.
doesn’t mean I can’t regret it,
and I think that is okay,
because I was me for such a long time
my absence will be missed,
especially by I, myself and me.

I see it.
we is great,
you plus me equals check and mate,
and I in us is where I belong
because we are far better
than I ever was.

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Tomorrow’s post –> becoming one…

Thursday’s post –> love is fruity…

Wednesday’s post –> i wear the mustache, she wears the pants…

Tuesday’s post –> purity even when it’s hard…

Monday’s post –> communicating through confusion…

Sunday’s post –> she can’t be your hobby…

Saturday’s post –> seven days…

love is fruity…

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© photo by Carl Zoch Photography you can follow him on twitter: @carlzoch

Love… is crazy. All this anticipation, passion, joy, and wonderment on things to come. Love is so easy right now. I been told this stage shall pass – that love will become difficult, and we will have to work to find this feeling we have right now. They say – once realities of life – jobs, kids and time invade our little love bubble, our passion will wain, our stares will falter, and our heart rates will slow.

Why does this have to happen? Why does love have to mature from the naivety of romance into something more profound. I’m happy with the rainbows and butterflies, why would I want rainstorms and cocoons?

I guess it’s because, we need these moments to look back on. We need a fire to rage in our hearts so that we will have the warmth to spur us into the cold reality of the dawn. A big ‘ol fire that leaves embers and coals for us to rekindle later on in life, a place of remembrance that we will draw strength and passion from.

Reality will come, storms and entrapment’s will overtake us, life will be what is always has been… a toil. But for now let me enjoy the fruitiness of love, let me giggle and stare – like a kid in a candy store. Let me always remember and treasure the warmth of her hand enveloped in mine.

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Tomorrow’s post –> death of me, life of we…

Wednesday’s post –> i wear the mustache, she wears the pants…

Tuesday’s post –> purity even when it’s hard…

Monday’s post –> communicating through confusion…

Sunday’s post –> she can’t be your hobby…

Saturday’s post –> seven days…

i wear the mustache, she wears the pants…

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© photo by Carl Zoch Photography you can follow him on twitter: @carlzoch

I don’t know about you but I’m thankful for the sexual liberation movement of the 60’s and 70’s. I’m excited that in the business world the glass ceiling is lowering (if not yet shattered), I’m a fan of equality in marriage and I love a woman who has an opinion, wears jeans and can live without me (but chooses not to).

In my relationship, we are finding that we sometimes don’t fit into the prototypical gender roles of the 50’s and 60’s, for example:

• I love cooking, and have a black chef’s apron to prove it.
• She’s the breadwinner (ok, I hope to get a job soon, so that should become normalized, but For The Record – I am fine with her providing during this time of joblessness, it does not impact my manhood).
• She’s way more competitive than I am… do not challenge this girl in anything, unless you are a professional!
• I enjoy planning, programming, and have an opinion on interior design and clothing styles (just call me your neighborhood metrosexual).
• She’s way better at handling our finances, though we have chosen to walk through this part together.

The above particulars about our relationship seem to be little things, but you’d be surprised to find out how many people have told me, “Well Sam, don’t you worry – she’ll learn to cook someday.” They say it with such pity, like will starve to death if she doesn’t learn her role!! But the reality is I really enjoy cooking, it is a de-stressor for me and something I am not about to give up, especially to someone who is not as passionate about cooking as me (BTW – she can cook, she just doesn’t enjoy it as much as I do).

This perspective of gender roles are rooted in traditions of the past and in a “pick and choose” interpretation of the New Testament. Contrary to their opinion, I believe God loves equality, especially in the home. And the misuse of Paul’s letter’s to back their position is completely misguided – if they had their way all women would be chained to the kitchen cooking dinner, barefoot and pregnant.

In Ephesians 5:23, Paul encourages “wives be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.”

The problem is that we read these two verses and completely ignore the next 9 verses encouraging “husbands to love your wives as Christ Loved the Church and gave himself up for her so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word… and so on.”

Isn’t Paul saying the same thing here? That there is a mutual subjugation between husband and wife? In fact, I think I can make an argument that the words “subject to” in verse 22 has the same expectation as the words “to love” in verse 25. As the context shows, the entire book of Ephesians, and specifically this chapter highlight the mutual love and respect we are to show each other – wives, husbands, children employees, – it is the same across the board, to love, be subject, serve, and humble yourselves unto one another, just as Jesus sacrificed his life out of love for us.

Gender roles may be ebbing and flowing in modern home, as each member finds their particular place in which they fit into their unique family dynamic, and that is to be embraced. Though there is one thing that keeps me distinguishably masculine – I’m still the one with the killer mustache.

What roles are reversed in your home?

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Tomorrow’s post –> love is fruity…

Tuesday’s post –> purity even when it’s hard…

Monday’s post –> communicating through confusion…

Sunday’s post –> she can’t be your hobby…

Saturday’s post –> seven days…